first_imgThis week’s guruGot you bang to rights chapter and verseWhenever Guru gets a bit short of anecdotal outpourings, he can always counton the police to turn something up. Humberside police force is employing a comic poet to help officerscommunicate better. The usual approach, “Hello, hello, hello, what’s goingon here then,” is destined to be replaced with something more flowing. The poet, Ian McMillan, is described as “relentlessly jolly” andis poet-in-residence at Barnsley FC. The poet’s modest fee will come from administrative budgets rather thanfunds intended for front-line crime-fighting. Fortunately, victims of crime will not be handled by sonnet-spoutingsergeants. A police spokesman said, “Ian’s humour will only be used whereappropriate.” Hola! I need to spend a peseta Guru was lucky enough to be invited to the launch of an HR software productin Madrid last week. But it turned out like a debate in the European Parliament– everyone saying something meaningful, but no one saying it in the samelanguage. The Spanish tried to speak English when demonstrating the product, and theEnglish people involved in the project used presentation slides in Spanish. Atthe climax of the presentation, Guru – who had indulged in too much sangria –asked where the toilet was, and was told it was 2.30pm. Guru admits that theproblem lay with his linguistic abilities, not theirs. Talking a good game It seems as though politicians are not the only ones indulging in a littlespin at the moment. Big businesses are exaggerating how well they are doing to get staff to workharder, reports the Independent on Sunday. Companies such as IBM are talking up their successes in order to make staffmore enthusiastic. At IBM, the process is known as “faction” andinvolves real-life anecdotes being exaggerated by executives. Guru is so intrigued by these urban myths that he wants to hear examplesfrom his disciples. We’ve all heard about Bill Gates’ enigmatic presence atMicrosoft HQ and how it prompted round-the-clock working. Do you know any stories? Remember, we’re talking about corporate urbanmyths, not ones involving Hollywood actors and hamsters. Contact Guru at theusual address. Previous Article Next Article GuruOn 30 May 2001 in Personnel Today Comments are closed. Related posts:No related photos.last_img read more